Will you marry me?” may be the initial question on the road to marriage but is by no means the last. Once your family and friends hear you have set the date, they will start telling you what you must do and what you must not do in preparation for the day. Some of this advice will be correct and helpful, some of it will be incorrect in regard to Bandon Parish and will only confuse you.
The information below is complied to help you prepare for your wedding at St Patrick’s Church, Bandon, Our Lady Chapel, Gaggin and The Presentation Convent Chapel.
You must make an appointment with any Civil Registrar to give notice of your intention to marry. This meeting must take place at least three months before the date of your wedding in order to comply with the civil requirement. The registrar’s office will let you know what you need to bring with you.
When all the civil requirements have been completed satisfactorily, you will receive a Marriage Registration Form (MRF) from the Registrar. Without this form you cannot get married.
Contact details: Registry Office, Adelaide Street, Cork. Tel: 021- 4275126
Many couples think they need only what is called, ‘A letter of Freedom’ – THIS IS NOT SO. The following documents are required:
1. Pre-Nuptial Inquiry Form. The priest in the parish of your normal residence will fill this up for you.
2. If your place of baptism was elsewhere, you will need to get a Baptismal Certificate from your church of baptism.
(This certificate must be issued within six months of your marriage.)
3. Letter of Freedom in some cases. Consult the priest doing your papers about this.
4. In the case where either the bride or groom is not Catholic, a dispensation will be needed. The priest will organise this for you.
Situations vary from couple to couple. It would be impossible in this short leaflet to cover everything. It is best to contact your local priest six months ahead of your wedding date and he will advise you on the documents needed in your case.
Pre Marriage Courses
Couples are required by Church authorities to take part in a pre- marriage course. It is advisable to make enquiries about these as early as possible. The following organisations are approved by the Diocese of Cork and Ross.
- Cork Marriage Counselling Centre, 34 Paul Street, Cork. Tel. 021 4272277
- N.A.O.M.I. 119, Patrick Street, Cork. Tel: 021 4272213
- ACCORD Centre, Bantry. Tel: 027 50272 www.accord.ie
What kind of LITURGY?
There are two kinds of Marriage Liturgy. One is where the Marriage Promises are made during Mass. The other is where the Promises are made at a special Liturgy but without Mass. The choice of Liturgy should be made in the light of the personal faith circumstances of both parties. Most Catholics will choose to make their Marriage Promises at a nuptial Mass. However, when one is not Roman Catholic, or a non-believer, the wedding liturgy without Mass may be more appropriate. It is important to talk this decision over with the priest who will officiate.
Photographs and Video Recording
The making of a video and the taking of photographs is no problem so long as it does not take from the sacredness of the ceremony.
The Church Ceremony
This should be discussed in detail with the officiating priest.
If you intend printing a booklet for your wedding, it is advisable to have it checked over with the priest who will officiate. Reading should always be from the bible. Samples are available.
The music for your wedding must be suited to the dignity of the occasion.
There is no fee for the use of the church. It is however customary to give a voluntary offering to the priest who celebrates your marriage.
If neither party of the wedding is from the parish it is presumed the couple will invite a priest from their own parish, a relative or a friend to officiate. The documentation required will be attended to by the priest in the home parish and forwarded to Bandon. The priest in the home parish should be contacted several months before the wedding date.
In the case where you invite a priest relative or friend to officiate at your wedding, he must produce a current Celebret from his bishop or superior to the parish clergy. Please inform him of this regulation.
If you wish to receive a Papal Blessing, you can organise it through Veritas on Carey’s Lane, Cork or at The Roman House on North Main Street, Cork. Organise it well in advance of date.